Bother Her Some More!

Ways we flirt with our wives can change daily. Sometimes we are the loving and caring, gentle man that will just be as sweet as possible. You think we've become the ideal man that all women have in their head. We are romantic or debonair at times and normally this is what you like. Now sometimes we are just purely bored and hyped up on caffeine.

The problem is, sometimes we are also just the schoolyard boy that will threw stuff at you or pulled your hair when he liked you. We aren't anything like the prince in shining armor that had the "proper" upbringing, but a kid trying to show you he likes you by bugging you repeatedly. Like when we respond to every question you have with an answer that has absolutely nothing to do with what you were talking about. Or when we make really annoying noises randomly until you respond with an irritated voice or until we know it's getting under your skin. I think most guys at some time or another will just break down and become this "boy" when he wants to flirt. This sounds strange I'm sure, but most women can probably relate to this.

You probably had occasions where you just don't know what got into your husband. All you do know is that he was really annoying, not mean, just really annoying. Remember that sometimes he has only you to release his energy on and so that means you will get all the good and the bad. You become one of his siblings for a short while that he can bug and pester for purely his enjoyment. It's not because he doesn't care about your feelings, its just that's how he shows his love for you.

Don't take this wrong, just put up with it and play along until his energy subsides and he either falls asleep or tries fixing something that's not broke. Their is no fighting it, but maybe some redirection will do the job of getting him off your back.

I recommend changing the channel to something he finds interesting, telling him he sounds really cute and adorable like a small animal, suggesting going shopping with him if he doesn't stop, or asking him to rub your feet or back. This is a sure way to get him off your back and stopping whatever thing he is doing to irritate you for his entertainment.

What Makes A Good Husband?

I sometimes will sit and try to figure out what really makes a good husband. I know the basics, like carrying the heavy stuff, complimenting, keeping your eyes forward whenever another attractive girl is nearby and so on.

What I'm not 100% sure of, is if I'm including everything that would make me the best husband. Sometimes I strive to be the best at things that really interest or benefit me. Right now it's being a husband (husbandry). Since being a "hubby" means a lot to me, I want to get the most out of it.

Is there a "get the most for your spousal position" book for guys in my position? I mean we can speculate all day trying to figure out what steps we need to take in order to rise up the holy, marriage ladder of success. As men, every so often we will come up with an idea or ideas that might score us some points with the lady. Things like cleaning some part of the house without being asked to. Bringing her a glass of water before she even says she is thirsty (good one). These are purely task, they’re not really habits.

Habits come easy for women, not for men. Men will get some really good idea, act on it for a day and then lose it in the abyss we call our brain. Women are completely different. They know exactly what they need to do or be to make their husbands happy. It is build into them from birth. They automatically know what to do if we feel down or sick. They look out for our back and our needs constantly throughout the day. It could be at a store and they see something we might like or could use. It could be keeping a constant ear out for opportunities that might benefit us in our career or past time.

We are in trouble when these ideas decide to pop into our heads. All of a sudden we realize that our wife does like flowers, she does appreciate it when we clean up after ourselves and she feels taken care of when we open the door for her. These are all good ideas, but why do they have to hit us after it's too late? Husbands should have a steel ball (crystal is girly) that they can call upon whenever they need help with these issues.

So, for all of you wives out there, here is a little advice......drop some hints. If you have to leave notes or drawings on the wall, then do it. If you husband can't do the right thing all of the time, remember he's a guy.

Guys are reactive, not proactive.

Just One More Thing!

For all you men out there that are married or have girlfriends, you’re probably familiar with what I'm about to say.

"Just one more thing" is probably something you here on a regular basis, especially when you and your lady are relaxing in the living room or bedroom. You both are sitting there watching TV or a movie when she ask you, ever so nicely, if you can get her a glass of water. Maybe its water, but it can also be a snack, glasses, reading material, phone, laptop, plate, silverware, pen, blanket, pillow, paper, or condiment. I would say 99% of the time it's one of those 13 things.

So you being such a loving husband or boyfriend, you get up and get it for her. It could be someone in the house or car. You get up without complaining and bring her this item. Well, you sit back down and begin to, once again, enjoy your evening. Well about I would say three minutes later, normally the amount of time it takes for you to get completely relaxed, she will proceed to ask you for another item.

Of course, being a gentleman and just a genuinely good person, you will go and acquire the new item that’s so very necessary at the moment. Now you’re getting the picture .......right guys! It doesn't just stop with one or two things, this can actually continue for quite a while. If it's not getting something, it's completing a task. For example you first grab a pen, second it's getting an important piece of paper, and then third it's taking chicken out of the freezer to let it defrost. All of this followed with a "just one more thing".

The funny thing is, is this "just one more thing" is said with the big puppy eyes, tilted head and a sweet little voice that is almost impossible to resist. Within a moment she breaks through your lack of wanting to move and you will force yourself up to do the deed.

What power! When did we ever do this for any of our friends, siblings or parents without having to be really prodded. She constantly amazes me daily and that's why I love her.

Guys, do what you can to make her happy. She will make you even happier.

So Greatful For What I Dont Have!

Now many of you out there might think that I'm grateful for not having something like a life threatening disease or something along those lines. No, that's not what I mean.

I am grateful for not having that fancy new sports car or that nice big mansion. I'm grateful that I don't have that massive salary at that amazing, dream job. I'm grateful that I don't have that greek god like body that could be in magazines or on billboards. I'm grateful that I can't speak a foreign language or even fly a helicopter. That I cant just fly away at a moments notice to hike through the grand canyon or visit a new foreign country every month.

Now don't get me wrong, but I am so, so grateful for everything I already do have. I'm so happy that I have an amazing wife that encourages me to be a better person, a car that gets me where I have to be, loving parents that still care for me and want the best for my life, great siblings that are also great friends, my health, my ability to read and learn, and many, many more things.

What I mean about being grateful for what I don't have, is that it gives me something to work for. It puts a fire under me to pursue my dreams. A dream is something that keeps you moving forward and without one you might just sit there and fade away. If I had everything I want, then life would be boring, predictable and grey.

No, I am grateful that I don't have any of those amazing things..............yet! Now I can make the journey that will move me towards those things. Like the great inspirational music artist Miley Cyrus teaches us in her new song "The Climb", it's the, well it's the climb that changes us.

So as a new husband that wants all these amazing things in his life, I'm grateful that they are attainable and just beyond my reach for the moment. So that I can become a better husband, son, brother and friend on the road to my dreams.

I want a friend too....

So as many of you who have already read my first post, my wife and I just moved to Spokane, WA. We moved here a little over a month ago. It's not the biggest city in the world, but the second largest in Washington, so it works. We moved from Sacramento, CA ,so as might be able to guess it's been a pretty big change for us. A big variety of people in California, not so much here. Now I like the people here, but it's been hard for either one of us to meet new people and make friends.......Until now!

My wife just recently made friend at a place where she was temping for a couple weeks. Supposedly (Kristin I spelled it right), she is a really nice girl and kinda in the same boat as us. I guess they get along great and it looks like they might make good friends. What's really great is that they are going to have a "girls" night tomorrow evening. Isn't that wonderful?

Now I am so happy that my wife has found a friend, because I know that I couldn't just hang out with just me all that long. Women need to socialize, shop and then tell you all about it. I understand that, but still it's not that fair. I want a friend too! Of course I had to convince her to go out because she felt bad that I would be at home by myself. She started thinking of people I could make my friend, people I don't even know. I told her you just cant go up to a guy and ask to be friends...doesn't look right.

Since I'm not going with her, I plan on making it a man-night. This man-night will consist of a $5 Little Cesar's pizza, a beer, some Mario Bro's 3 and a Man Movie. Man-Movie definition: any movie consisting of violence, explosions, cars, more violence and a bad guy.

I'm aware that in the future we each are going to need our own friends so that we don't get bored with each other. The thing is, is that I'm a little clingy still. I need her too much. I'm a new husband, that's like being a newborn pet that needs feeding, petting and playtime. I will be okay, though. I will persevere and enjoy my man-night and try not to miss her too much.

I hope she has fun.

Taking Care of the Man Jobs

Well today I learned the role of what it is to be a husband. It's something I knew, but never really understood until today. Most might think it's to support your wife financially and emotionally. Maybe to protect her against all the evil or bad people there are in the world. Some might even think its to be a good partner in life, an"equal".

Well you would all be wrong because I now know what it is to be a real husband.


The role of a husband is to be the hired hand. You know, like that guy in old southern movies, who is hired on a farm to do everything from repairing the roof to fetchin an errand. As the husband, you do all the things that your wife could easily do, but that aren't really considered "woman" jobs. This goes for leaks, taking out the trash, setting up electronics, etc. For example, I just changed the headlight in our vehicle. It was a little tricky, but realistically, easy enough for anyone to do.

As soon as we realized that it the light was out, it was just assumed that I would fix it. Even I was like, "Oh, I'll take care of it". Like I was the skilled experienced automobile mechanic that could change it in a jiffy.

Now I'm not complaining. I, as well as most men, I think really do enjoy doing these little jobs. It makes us feel like we are feeling an important role or contributing. Makes us feel more like a man. Even though I know my wife probably knows more about working on cars, fixing the vacuum cleaner, putting up shelves, or other random task, I'm glad that they are assigned to me. No, I might not be able to cook a rally nice meal. I might now be able to give good advice on how to decorate. I might not be able to change out an engine in a car or balance our check book. I might not be this amazing, talented, skillful, or even poetic husband, but by god I am mediocre.

So bring on those leaks, oil changes, head lights, shelves, BBQs, installing electronics and yes even those random trips to the grocery store.

It's Monday....I mean Tuesday!

Right now, I'm at a coffee shop waiting for an important meeting here at 12:00. I have 3 1/2 more hours until that meeting, so I thought I would write on my blog. It's Tuesday morning following a labor day weekend, so I'm not completely back in the game yet. The weather has changed dramatically this last weekend. In three days, its went from being 90 degrees down to below 75. It seems like as soon as labor day hits, summer automatically ends and reverts to fall.

This last weekend was really great. Except for a 2 hour hike, my wife and I stayed in for most of the weekend watching the Home & Garden TV network. I know how it sounds, but it was actually allot of fun. We didn't have to worry about much, except what to eat and what show to watch. (A little side note, I like how when you watch a show that she wants to watch, it automatically becomes your choice in shows. So later when you want to pick a channel, you have already made your choice. So now it's her turn to pick a channel.) We made a late night taco bell run (very rare) and watched a romantic comedy. It was awesome!

It's amazing how fast time flies when you really don't want it to. The work days last forever, but as soon as the weekend hits, it's already time to go back to work. Is there some way to slow down time when you're have fun. Should we feel like we have work to do? Would it slow down if were to take breaks to do some work?I know that without the long, never ending work week, the days off would not be as appreciated, but common man. I still want more time off.

A Man In a Boy's Pajamas

One thing I've noticed about being a married is that just because your married, doesn't make you a fully mature man. Now, I know, when we get married we are supposed to be all grown up and ready to start life as an adult part of society. We start having couples over for game nights, maybe start bowling more and open Roth IRA accounts for retirement.

As men, we start to where the polo shirts with no prints on them, some Dockers or khakis, and a par of plain black or brown shoes. When we first get married, we might get rid of some childish things like shot glasses or video games. Maybe put away a couple posters that are made to make men feel like men, such as black and white posters of the rat pack, James Dean, maybe a Scarface, and Mohammed Ali standing over someone he just knocked out.

Then as a man you start to plan your life out (with you're wife), like what type of career to really pursue or where to live long term. All very important and very needed for any man. Normally we just do what works and we know and let the chips fall as they may.

Even after all of this "growing up", we still feel at times, as little boys ready to go climb something that looks fun, beat the new video game that just came out, build a really sweet tree fort, learn kung fu just like Bruce Lee or Jet Lee (both very cool by the way), or learn to play the guitar because you really do have what it takes to be in a band.

As married or "adult" men, we are really good at playing the part. With our wife we can play that romantic husband or the good friend with good conversational skills, but sometimes we can’t contain it. It being, the inner child that if you held back too long, comes bursting out of us and normally onto our spouse. This is normally comes in the way of pestering, bugging, or teasing. Touching your wife with your feet, while both on the couch together. You guys know what I mean.

I come to the conclusion that this is completely normal and probably not going to change. As men we will always be boys, boys trying to make it in an adult world. We are men in boy’s pajamas.

Things I Can Do....That My Wife Can't

I can walk on my hands. I get up in front of a group of people and give a speech. I can play the guitar (just a little bit). I can make the best paper air plane. Hmmmmmm that's about it. One thing I've learned from being married is that my wife (I'm sure this goes for most women out there) can learn to do anything I can do and at a lot faster pace then I did. For example: It took me over a week of constantly trying to juggle before I actually could it. One night we were bored so I thought I could teach her to juggle. It took her only three hours before she was juggling just as well as me. Can you believe that?

Now this type of thing happens all the time. At first I didn't mind it because she is my wife and I like to teach people how to do things. Well, now I'm kinda scared and hesitant because what am I going to have after all my rare talents and capabilities are no longer rare? I assume every husband or boyfriend out there likes to be able to show off to their lady in some way. If it's with something he owns, he can do or someone he knows, it's something that she cannot own, do or know. Well when you get married, everything you know, anything you have or anyone you know will eventually become the same for your wife.

To all the women out there who are probably just so into your guy that you want to learn everything he know, please every once in a while......don't! This is not so that the man can have something over you or so he can be better then you. It's because he wants to still be able to impress you. He wants to be able to show you, that he can eat with chop sticks or at least pick up every little piece of random stuff off the table. He wants to be able to tell you that he is the poker champ and no one knows the game like him.

Even if what he knows or can do is not that difficult, still act like it is. Now you don't have to always keep yourself from doing what's enjoyable, but every so often, let the "man" things go.

So guys, if you have a very intelligent and talented wife like I do (points for me), never teach them all the tricks in your bag.

Working Out With My Wife

First of all, this is not an option. I have to work out with my wife and most of the time that means twice a day. I loved working out too, but now it's a husband requirement. If you read the back story on us, we met at a gym where I was a personal trainer. Now everyone we meet knows that I am supposed to be her personal trainer for life.......without pay.

Don't get me wrong, I love working out with my wife. She is fun and has the endurance of an Olympic athlete. She can seriously workout for hours at a time and not be sore. I workout for 35 minutes and I'm sore for a week. She will do anything I tell her to do or at least give it a really hard try. The thing is, is that I have to work out WHENEVER she wants to, such as early morning (5:30 before work), afternoon, evening (perfect movie time), it doesn't matter.

My wife is beautiful and shouldn't have that much to worry about, but this is a very important issue to her. Forget not having money to pay bills, terrible sickness, the world is ending, she will make time to work out. As her trainer I have to show her results or else.

Now obviously weight is always a serious issue for women. Men can have skinny legs, arms, chest and one massive beer (soda) belly and feel like they are the hottest thing in the room. Not for Women, they have to be in the most perfect shape or they they think they are related to the whale family.

As an Apprentice Husband I am realizing that it doesn't matter if what your wife wants makes sense to you, what matters is that you do it for her anyway. If you make her happy, then she makes you happy.