They Way You Ask A Man

Just experienced this last night.
Once again, I'm sure all you guys can agree with me on this one. If your wife or girlfriend wants y0u to do something for her, there is a way to ask for it and way not to ask.

Here are two examples of how not to ask:
Firstly, "Go get me some thing from the store". This is a tell and should be eliminated or discontinued immediately. This one is obvious, but for some reason still in use today. As a man, we like to feel like we are in control, even when we're not.
Secondly, "Where out of popcorn? Can you go get some from the store right now?". Now this seems to be safe, but still way off. Of course this was asked, but one thing you must take into consideration is the timing. I don't mind going to the store, but I don't want to go right now. For a vital ingredient in an important meal, of course I'll go, but not to get some late-night, buttery, delicious snack.

Now here are the ways to ask a man to do something for you. First keep in mind timing is everything. One moment we cant wait to get out of the house or get our blood pumping, the other we don't want to expend the energy it takes to live. If it's something important that only we can do, then we will do it........most of the time. Sometimes we just suck and wont do it without some real fire beneath us.
Second, if it is something that you just want but doesn't hold any real importance, then you have to ask the right way. No telling or demanding an action take place. No screaming or rolling of the eyes while saying, "I'll just do it" or "I just wont have any today". There is the best way that almost always works on boyfriends, newlywed guys, and the husband that's been in it for the long hall.

You have to ask like the opposite type of person I am. What does that mean? Let me explain. I'm a guy first off. I have strong and rough (I am seriously), I want to be the provider and protector. You need to be the opposite. What I mean is, you need to become that dainty, sweet, cute, weak, helpless individual with the big, kitty eyes. You need to ever so sweetly and gently place your hand somewhere on my body and stair softly into my eyes and ask me with a smile to do whatever you want.
We are suckers for this, because we can feel like we are actually taking care of her. It makes us feel good to be that sweet guy that will do things for his wife or girlfriend.

So women remember my words today, because they will get you a long way.

Side note: There are going to be times where nothing will work on a guy, so at those times there is no winning the battle.

Bother Her Some More!

Ways we flirt with our wives can change daily. Sometimes we are the loving and caring, gentle man that will just be as sweet as possible. You think we've become the ideal man that all women have in their head. We are romantic or debonair at times and normally this is what you like. Now sometimes we are just purely bored and hyped up on caffeine.

The problem is, sometimes we are also just the schoolyard boy that will threw stuff at you or pulled your hair when he liked you. We aren't anything like the prince in shining armor that had the "proper" upbringing, but a kid trying to show you he likes you by bugging you repeatedly. Like when we respond to every question you have with an answer that has absolutely nothing to do with what you were talking about. Or when we make really annoying noises randomly until you respond with an irritated voice or until we know it's getting under your skin. I think most guys at some time or another will just break down and become this "boy" when he wants to flirt. This sounds strange I'm sure, but most women can probably relate to this.

You probably had occasions where you just don't know what got into your husband. All you do know is that he was really annoying, not mean, just really annoying. Remember that sometimes he has only you to release his energy on and so that means you will get all the good and the bad. You become one of his siblings for a short while that he can bug and pester for purely his enjoyment. It's not because he doesn't care about your feelings, its just that's how he shows his love for you.

Don't take this wrong, just put up with it and play along until his energy subsides and he either falls asleep or tries fixing something that's not broke. Their is no fighting it, but maybe some redirection will do the job of getting him off your back.

I recommend changing the channel to something he finds interesting, telling him he sounds really cute and adorable like a small animal, suggesting going shopping with him if he doesn't stop, or asking him to rub your feet or back. This is a sure way to get him off your back and stopping whatever thing he is doing to irritate you for his entertainment.

What Makes A Good Husband?

I sometimes will sit and try to figure out what really makes a good husband. I know the basics, like carrying the heavy stuff, complimenting, keeping your eyes forward whenever another attractive girl is nearby and so on.

What I'm not 100% sure of, is if I'm including everything that would make me the best husband. Sometimes I strive to be the best at things that really interest or benefit me. Right now it's being a husband (husbandry). Since being a "hubby" means a lot to me, I want to get the most out of it.

Is there a "get the most for your spousal position" book for guys in my position? I mean we can speculate all day trying to figure out what steps we need to take in order to rise up the holy, marriage ladder of success. As men, every so often we will come up with an idea or ideas that might score us some points with the lady. Things like cleaning some part of the house without being asked to. Bringing her a glass of water before she even says she is thirsty (good one). These are purely task, they’re not really habits.

Habits come easy for women, not for men. Men will get some really good idea, act on it for a day and then lose it in the abyss we call our brain. Women are completely different. They know exactly what they need to do or be to make their husbands happy. It is build into them from birth. They automatically know what to do if we feel down or sick. They look out for our back and our needs constantly throughout the day. It could be at a store and they see something we might like or could use. It could be keeping a constant ear out for opportunities that might benefit us in our career or past time.

We are in trouble when these ideas decide to pop into our heads. All of a sudden we realize that our wife does like flowers, she does appreciate it when we clean up after ourselves and she feels taken care of when we open the door for her. These are all good ideas, but why do they have to hit us after it's too late? Husbands should have a steel ball (crystal is girly) that they can call upon whenever they need help with these issues.

So, for all of you wives out there, here is a little advice......drop some hints. If you have to leave notes or drawings on the wall, then do it. If you husband can't do the right thing all of the time, remember he's a guy.

Guys are reactive, not proactive.

Just One More Thing!

For all you men out there that are married or have girlfriends, you’re probably familiar with what I'm about to say.

"Just one more thing" is probably something you here on a regular basis, especially when you and your lady are relaxing in the living room or bedroom. You both are sitting there watching TV or a movie when she ask you, ever so nicely, if you can get her a glass of water. Maybe its water, but it can also be a snack, glasses, reading material, phone, laptop, plate, silverware, pen, blanket, pillow, paper, or condiment. I would say 99% of the time it's one of those 13 things.

So you being such a loving husband or boyfriend, you get up and get it for her. It could be someone in the house or car. You get up without complaining and bring her this item. Well, you sit back down and begin to, once again, enjoy your evening. Well about I would say three minutes later, normally the amount of time it takes for you to get completely relaxed, she will proceed to ask you for another item.

Of course, being a gentleman and just a genuinely good person, you will go and acquire the new item that’s so very necessary at the moment. Now you’re getting the picture .......right guys! It doesn't just stop with one or two things, this can actually continue for quite a while. If it's not getting something, it's completing a task. For example you first grab a pen, second it's getting an important piece of paper, and then third it's taking chicken out of the freezer to let it defrost. All of this followed with a "just one more thing".

The funny thing is, is this "just one more thing" is said with the big puppy eyes, tilted head and a sweet little voice that is almost impossible to resist. Within a moment she breaks through your lack of wanting to move and you will force yourself up to do the deed.

What power! When did we ever do this for any of our friends, siblings or parents without having to be really prodded. She constantly amazes me daily and that's why I love her.

Guys, do what you can to make her happy. She will make you even happier.

So Greatful For What I Dont Have!

Now many of you out there might think that I'm grateful for not having something like a life threatening disease or something along those lines. No, that's not what I mean.

I am grateful for not having that fancy new sports car or that nice big mansion. I'm grateful that I don't have that massive salary at that amazing, dream job. I'm grateful that I don't have that greek god like body that could be in magazines or on billboards. I'm grateful that I can't speak a foreign language or even fly a helicopter. That I cant just fly away at a moments notice to hike through the grand canyon or visit a new foreign country every month.

Now don't get me wrong, but I am so, so grateful for everything I already do have. I'm so happy that I have an amazing wife that encourages me to be a better person, a car that gets me where I have to be, loving parents that still care for me and want the best for my life, great siblings that are also great friends, my health, my ability to read and learn, and many, many more things.

What I mean about being grateful for what I don't have, is that it gives me something to work for. It puts a fire under me to pursue my dreams. A dream is something that keeps you moving forward and without one you might just sit there and fade away. If I had everything I want, then life would be boring, predictable and grey.

No, I am grateful that I don't have any of those amazing things..............yet! Now I can make the journey that will move me towards those things. Like the great inspirational music artist Miley Cyrus teaches us in her new song "The Climb", it's the, well it's the climb that changes us.

So as a new husband that wants all these amazing things in his life, I'm grateful that they are attainable and just beyond my reach for the moment. So that I can become a better husband, son, brother and friend on the road to my dreams.

I want a friend too....

So as many of you who have already read my first post, my wife and I just moved to Spokane, WA. We moved here a little over a month ago. It's not the biggest city in the world, but the second largest in Washington, so it works. We moved from Sacramento, CA ,so as might be able to guess it's been a pretty big change for us. A big variety of people in California, not so much here. Now I like the people here, but it's been hard for either one of us to meet new people and make friends.......Until now!

My wife just recently made friend at a place where she was temping for a couple weeks. Supposedly (Kristin I spelled it right), she is a really nice girl and kinda in the same boat as us. I guess they get along great and it looks like they might make good friends. What's really great is that they are going to have a "girls" night tomorrow evening. Isn't that wonderful?

Now I am so happy that my wife has found a friend, because I know that I couldn't just hang out with just me all that long. Women need to socialize, shop and then tell you all about it. I understand that, but still it's not that fair. I want a friend too! Of course I had to convince her to go out because she felt bad that I would be at home by myself. She started thinking of people I could make my friend, people I don't even know. I told her you just cant go up to a guy and ask to be friends...doesn't look right.

Since I'm not going with her, I plan on making it a man-night. This man-night will consist of a $5 Little Cesar's pizza, a beer, some Mario Bro's 3 and a Man Movie. Man-Movie definition: any movie consisting of violence, explosions, cars, more violence and a bad guy.

I'm aware that in the future we each are going to need our own friends so that we don't get bored with each other. The thing is, is that I'm a little clingy still. I need her too much. I'm a new husband, that's like being a newborn pet that needs feeding, petting and playtime. I will be okay, though. I will persevere and enjoy my man-night and try not to miss her too much.

I hope she has fun.

Taking Care of the Man Jobs

Well today I learned the role of what it is to be a husband. It's something I knew, but never really understood until today. Most might think it's to support your wife financially and emotionally. Maybe to protect her against all the evil or bad people there are in the world. Some might even think its to be a good partner in life, an"equal".

Well you would all be wrong because I now know what it is to be a real husband.


The role of a husband is to be the hired hand. You know, like that guy in old southern movies, who is hired on a farm to do everything from repairing the roof to fetchin an errand. As the husband, you do all the things that your wife could easily do, but that aren't really considered "woman" jobs. This goes for leaks, taking out the trash, setting up electronics, etc. For example, I just changed the headlight in our vehicle. It was a little tricky, but realistically, easy enough for anyone to do.

As soon as we realized that it the light was out, it was just assumed that I would fix it. Even I was like, "Oh, I'll take care of it". Like I was the skilled experienced automobile mechanic that could change it in a jiffy.

Now I'm not complaining. I, as well as most men, I think really do enjoy doing these little jobs. It makes us feel like we are feeling an important role or contributing. Makes us feel more like a man. Even though I know my wife probably knows more about working on cars, fixing the vacuum cleaner, putting up shelves, or other random task, I'm glad that they are assigned to me. No, I might not be able to cook a rally nice meal. I might now be able to give good advice on how to decorate. I might not be able to change out an engine in a car or balance our check book. I might not be this amazing, talented, skillful, or even poetic husband, but by god I am mediocre.

So bring on those leaks, oil changes, head lights, shelves, BBQs, installing electronics and yes even those random trips to the grocery store.